Rules For Dating My Daughter

Choco Bros writes the very funny First Time Dad blog. He admits it’s early days – his daughter doesn’t arrive until Frebruary 2016 – but already he is laying down rules for anyone thinking of asking his daughter out in a few years time.

Enjoy:

• Firstly, is my daughter 25, no? Well, come back when she is.

• Understand I will never like you.

• If you are dating my daughter, never touch my daughter in front of me. No hugs, no kisses, basically no affection. You may eventually shake hands in my presence.

• If she cries, I’ll make you cry.

• Just to reiterate, I will NEVER like you.

• If you date my daughter, don’t even think about looking at another girl. Never mind trying to be a player or one of the lads.

• When talking to your mates, don’t disrespect my daughter, I will find out and take your tongue.

• Don’t try and bond with me over sports, politics or any of that nonsense, in fact don’t even talk to me.

• If you find yourself alone with daughter, ensure it’s a public place.

• You better have a job and be hard working.

• Open doors for my daughter and throw your coat over puddles etc. Lack of manner or chivalry will not be tolerated.

• If you do find yourself alone with daughter (in a public place of course), make sure she is home before the streets lights come on.

• When you come round to our house to pick my daughter, do not wait in the car and honk your horn. Come to the door, press the doorbell and wait till she is ready. Warning, if she’s like her mother, be prepared to wait outside for a very long time.

• Did I mention, I will NEVER like you?

• Make my daughter happy.

CHOCO

This post first appeared at: http://firsttimedad.info/2015/11/07/rules-for-dating-my-daughter/

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